lilianic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What I did, and did not, get from my Nana. I have my Nana's hands. Not in the old lady/veiny sort of way. I just mean that my hands are the same general shape of my grandmother's. I have fingers that aren't necessarily long, but are pretty well shaped. They're not exactly slender, but they're shapely. In fact, "not exactly slender, but shapely" is a good way to describe me. I am always fascinated when I see bits of my relatives in myself. It's a good way to reaffirm that I am indeed supposed to be a part of their lives. I hold on to this thought when one or all of my relatives is driving me nuts. This happens more than one might think. I do not, thankfully, have my Nana's world view. She is the most casual racist I've ever met. It's scary. She hates everyone who isn't black, and she doesn't actually like all black people, either. She's extremely aware of skin color, and my Nana didn't like my mother at first because my mother is dark-skinned. It's stupid, but there you go. The joke's on Nana, though, because all of her grandkids came out dark, and she loves us anyway. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. I like seeing parts of myself in others. I think that what I want more than anything in the world is a real connection, and while I don't think that family automatically supplies that, it's a start. I know that there was a point that I wanted to make with all this, but damned if I remember it anymore. 11:48 - 2003-08-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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